Sunday, June 22, 2008

Long Days, Short Years

I wish I could claim this phrase, "Long Days, Short Years." It seems to capture my life, especially as a mother. My days seem so long and full, yet the years are a blur. Emma finished kindergarten about 2 weeks ago. It was a sad time for me. Sad because I have always hated endings and goodbyes. Sad because my daughter is growing up. Sad because I can only experience the last day of Emma's kindergarten just once, then it is gone, like the entire year.

On the last day of school, David and I both took Emma to school, just like we did on the first day of kinder. I had the video and the camera. When I saw other moms crying, I decided it was OK for me to tear up a bit.

I needed to get over my melancholy mood. There was only one thing to do: breakfast at Kerbey Lane Cafe. Country music was playing on the Kerbey Lane sound system that morning. I was grateful that the restaurant not only had the food, but also the music to fit my mood. There's nothing like the healing power of coffee, eggs, pancakes, hash browns and Hank Williams Jr. When "Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound" started to play, David was amazed that I knew the words to sing along.

Big milestones, like the last day of the school year, remind me that Emma is growing up. But I am aware of the little daily things that mark the passage of time, too. Like the fact that Emma has moved from taking baths to a shower ("Uses less water and takes less time," she says). She is now tall enough to get her own morning milk and cereal. She doesn't dress up as much as Snow White. Yet, today she saw a rainbow in the water from the sprinkler and asked if I could see a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Today she also made fairy dust out of chalk and taped a bag full of dust to her tummy, ("Just in case I want to fly"). Emma still loves to climb on to my lap after dinner and we still cuddle a lot.

In my mind, the end of Emma's school year also marks the end of my bout with cancer. I decided that I would wear my wig until the end of the school year, then I would take it off. So, I am now out and about without a wig! I have very, very short hair. My hair used to look like Obama's hair. Now my hair is a just a little bit longer than his. My hair is coming in very thick and curly. No grey hair. This is all good.




At the end of the year, Emma came home with a backpack full of papers, worksheets, notebooks and art projects. She completed this sheet on President's Day (the day of my last chemo treatment). She wrote this using invented spelling which is how kinder students learn to write these days. The assignment was to complete the statement, "If I were President..." Emma wrote, "I would help people. I would help people when they are sick."