I am taking a deep breath, and now slowly letting it out. I do this as I begin the most intense physical and emotional period of my life: my journey back to a healthy, cancer free life. I have wanted to blog for some time. Before this diagnosis of lymphoma hit me, I thought my blog would be about my personal observations regarding media, advertising, political advertising/pr, teaching, research, account planning, the theory/practice of advertising, and my never ending struggle with life/work balance issues as a mom, wife, daughter, teacher, and researcher. There is still a good chance that I will go ahead and write about these other issues, but for now, this blog will focus on my healing process. I don't know how often I will post, but I will try to keep this blog current so that you have the latest on my diagnosis and progress.
So, I write this blog to
1. Keep my friends and family informed of my healing progress.
2. To build a community of support.
3. As a form of therapy-it helps to write.
4. As a record for my 6-year-old daughter, Emma.
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On October 26, 2007, I was diagnosed with cancer. I have a malignant tumor growing in my liver. It is currently about 18 by 10 cm in size. (I don't even have ruler that big to help me visualize the size!) Specifically, I have non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (intermediate grade, large B-cell lymphoma). A PET scan found lymphoma in several parts of my lymphatic system. The oncologist said this was expected given the size of the tumor in my liver. This is an extremely fast moving tumor. Just in the last two weeks, I felt my body deteriorating on a daily basis. The ab pain was getting worse and I got new lymphoma symptoms every couple of days.
I started chemo on Thursday, November 8 of this week (a day after my daughter's 6th birthday). I reported to many that I was feeling great after that first day of chemo. The bad pain in my abnominal area was gone; I was no longer short of breath; I was even "dancing around with Emma." I told the oncologist and his nurse about this the next day. They smiled and said it was the steroids from the day before. On the first day, I was only given a small dose of the chemo treatment and the medicine takes several days to take effect. That's OK. I'll take it, even if Thursday night was only a steroid high.
On Friday, I had the full-blown "R-Chop" treatment. This is an established lymphoma protocol that was approved last year. "R-chop" stands for Rituxan, Cytoxan, Adriamycin, Vincristine, and Prednisone. I know, the letters don't match up to the acronym. Apparently, the names have changed for the drugs, but the acronym remains.
I came home Friday afternoon a bit tired, but still no longer in pain. I was no longer short of breath. I didn't dance with Emma, but I did manage to do all the bedtime rituals that I had to stop doing about 2 weeks ago because I was so wiped out. The oncologist and nurses tell me that I might start feeling symptoms as soon as the steroid effects weaken and the chemo starts kicking in. So, I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop; just waiting to see how my body responds. More later...
- Gigi
6 comments:
Gigi--
I think blogging throughout this experience is a great idea-- both for processing your thoughts/feelings but also so that you don't have to answer the same question fifty times a day when we all call to check up on you. Posting at 2:40 am though?? Ouch!!
Dear Gigi,
Our David has been keeping us posted on your progress and we are glad to know that you are on the road to good health and feeling better. We want you to know that we will now be among the followers of your own accounting of your journey on your blog.
We will be rooting for you and hoping that you will soon be dancing again with Emma and David.
Love,
Evie and Larry Lieb
Hi Gigi, I am Carol, Genice's friend in Berkeley (we met through working at American Cancer Society in the early 90's). I am being treated for a reoccurence of breast cancer which was found in my lymph nodes on the same side as the breast which was removed, then treated with chemo and radiation in 1998. I thought the plan was to "only" have an oopharectomey (have ovaries removed to get estrogen out of my body which I guess my cancer thrives on) and then take arimidex (a once a day for five years pill like tamoxifin, only for post menopausal women), but after studying the pathology of the tumor removed from my neck, the oncologist wanted to "ratch" up treatment with chemo. My heart sank (again, first time was the you have cancer call in spring). I would have to go "public" with my health crisis with a guaranteed change in my look with hair loss. I did not want to be a scarf and hat woman, which sadly makes me think "that person is dealing with cancer". So, I've cried and collected a few wigs that I thought were not too embarrasing a color change (back to brunette, my true hair color, which has been hidden by blond highlights for over two years). I got one brunette one with blond highlights trimmed to match the new shorter hair length I went to in anticipation for the "change" (from my lovely long hair down to almost my remaining breast) and am now three days into wearing it. It will be a while until I am less self concious....but I'll get there. I wish you all the best with this journey and look forward to touching base with you now and then to listen, cheer, whatever is needed. Your "sister" in this unwanted ordeal, Carol in Berkeley
Hi Gigi-
Wendy Lieb Schapiro, David Lieb's sister, here! David linked me to your blog, and I just wanted to let you know that all of us here are thinking of you and praying for a swift and complete recovery. You're an amazingly resiliant person, and I can't tell you how much I admire the determination with which you are facing this challenging time.
Love to you and to your David!
~Wendy (and Jeff, Kyra and Max by proxy)
Gigi,
David told me about your blog. I am thankful for the positive report. When another friend went through chemo, she was able to drink and hold down Sonic's Orange Cream Slush. You might want to give it a go. I'm cheering for you.
Love,
Claudia
Gigi,
Reading your blog leaves me with such a desire to talk to you! The emotional part that is good for me, one of your beloved readers and fans, is that knowing the steps in the process and how you are responding to them and feeling about them makes me feel like I'm sharing it with you, because you're sharing it with me, which feels good. If ignorance is sort of numbing, then knowledge is both painful and soothing, somehow.
Hair. Hmm. Hair hair hair. I like the simple hat look and even the scarf look on women who are chemo-ing. I bet you don't so much because you're so classy. But I wonder if you would consider a nice cozy faux fur kind of hat with brown and black, to draw out your eyes? And then you could play with make-up a bit, like lipstick to draw attention to your gorgeous mouth? (is this too personal for blog talk? this is the first time I've ever posted!) These are just ideas. Did you end up buying the wig? I bet wigs have come a long way. Barretts are over-rated, really. and scrunchies are low brow.
I love the photos you've posted, and feel intrigued to see your Port firsthand. Love ! ! ! Laurita
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